Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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