and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
