I'm passing your future prison.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
