masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
