this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I want her autograph on my taint
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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