i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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