I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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