you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
this will be a night to untag.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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