That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
