How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
