Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Randomize