I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
