the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
