8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
