I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
