At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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