i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
