found the other keg... it's in the tree
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
