We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
