I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
