He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
