How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
