Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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