I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
