I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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