Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
