I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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