in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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