just come out here and I will go home with you...
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Someone signed my nipple.
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