Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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