Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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