i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize
