ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Randomize
