Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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