Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
It's shark week go big or go home
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
