whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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