HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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