i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
