Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize