Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm at about main and main street
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
the liver wants what the liver wants
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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