why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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