I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
