He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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