I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He shit in the fireplace
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
