OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize