Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
