All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
