The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Randomize
