I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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