did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
