His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
