I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
