I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
