I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
