NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
