get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize