I want to make a zoo with you.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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