glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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